ScamBuster

US Magazine has some supposedly inside supposed info about how the Cruises are raising little Suri.

"Suri, who as a baby was breastfed and nursed on a mixture of barley water, milk and corn syrup which [Scientology founder L. Ron] Hubbard advocated as being healthier than formula and breast milk -- is too young to take classes at the Scientology Centre, the 18-month-old is constantly surrounded by believers, including her two nannies."

Hubbard, as you may or may not know is the deceased mastermind of a religion called scientology. I don't capitalize that one. Long story short:

75 million years ago, there was an alien galactic ruler named Xenu who was in charge of 76 planets in our sector of the galaxy, including planet Earth, whose name at that time was Teegeeack. Following this?

Xenu had an overpopulation problem, he sent out notice to millions of people that they were being audited basically by the Xenu IRS. The XRS we'll call it. As these folks arrived for their audit, they were kidnapped, drugged, brainwashed, and stacked in piles around volcanoes in Hawaii. Then Xenu blew them up with Hydrogen bombs. I swear to you, besides the XRS thing I am not making any of this up.

So their brainwashed soul-remnants (called Thetans) stick around earth to this day and spend their days infiltrating our bodies and giving Brooke Shields postpartum depression. Getting rid of the Thetans and their negative impact on our well-being is a very expensive process, funds going straight to the church of scientology (and, formerly, Hubbard's pockets).

***In preparation for Xenu's return, Tom Cruise, as reported by This Is London (dubious source since he's reportedly building in Colorado which is not in the UK!) is planning to build a $10 million bunker under his Telluride, CO estate. It's a self-contained underground shelter with a high tech air purifying filter system. Article can be found here.***

Well I hate to break it to L. Ron Hubbard, Tom, Katie, and anyone else that wants to listen...the barley water, milk, and corn syrup thing is just plain dangerous. I know, it's a slippery slope to refute the scientific knowledge of a man that is "in the know" about Xenu and whatnot, but I feel comfortable sticking my neck out on this one.

Cow's milk is difficult to digest. We tolerate it because we grew up drinking it, but technically everyone is lactose intolerant to a degree.

Barley is a common allergen. Administered in small but regular doses, it could even trigger an allergy that didn't exist before. And since she's had it since she was an infant, she will never experience a barley-free metabolism. So if it's making her stomach or head hurt or causing some other kind of nonvisible symptom we will never know.

Corn syrup carries the same risks, except add in the sugar factor. You could easily trigger diabetes in someone that little by feeding them corn syrup...which is pretty much straight sugar. Seriously, a can of coke is like 30% corn syrup and 65% water. Great idea.

I guess the main tenet of this religion is belief that physical and mental illnesses are a result of being plagued by Thetans. So allergies are a mental block caused by Thetans. Pneumonia is a mental block caused by Thetans. I wonder if there's anything in the books of scientology about Thetans causing you to be fucking nuts?